a letter for you

you see..i feel secure, i feel good in your company. you gave me your hand when i need you most.i treasure you , because you are a good friend, too hefty the price to loose you..you know it, dont you? the bond is strong.

but, i cant really remember how or why..and when.. things began to change. or maybe only me who feel that? the warmth that used to be there is no longer there..standing besides a furnace, yet,i feel so cool, shivering deep inside me..i want to see your bubbly smile again..i want to feel your presence again..i wanna laugh and whine together again..really, i miss them all deeply..

am i too sensitive or...? i am not so sure..but i feel the change..but i cant afford it- the change...for umteenth times, i wonder..wonder why does this happen..i want to ask, but dont dare to bring up the issue--i never had this feeling before..why the distance? why that barricade? so dear, just let me know, if there is anything that i can do..

in silence i pray. i wanna pray for you and me..let god lead us out of darkness, because only He is able to do it

do take care friend.remember i will always stand by you

back again..

hey people..it has been ages since i last updated my blog..just dont have the momentum to blog during sem3..perhaps was too absorbed in something else..>.<..now that i am having my long semester break again..some friends are leaving soon as they had finished their pre-u courses; other college friends are enrolling into university ; friends in form6 are bracing themselves for the most challenging examination (good luck to all!);looking back at myself, i am still stuck at alvl..really cant wait to finish it ..sometimes i whine n complain, why other only take 1.5 years but mine is 2years..isn't that unfair? however it didnt not take me too long to realize the truth- no point of complaining, no matter what, i still have to move on.. in retrospect it isnt really a long or never ending 2-years..now that there is just one more sem to go and i feel this is really fast! how i wish that time will just freeze here!

had tonnes of happenings n stories during third sem..all sort of feelings flooded me when i recollect my memories-happy, desperate, confounded, blissful, disappointing....etc..i know deep in my heart, those knots have to be untangled, before they got worse..but how ? i am still scouring for the solution..

neway the best part about 3rd sem is none other than my biology field trip. although a few of us few were reluctant to go at first as it was scheduled before our finals, we never have a tinge of regret after the trip. instead, we feel so thrilled that we wanna go again..it was a three days two nights stay at the national park pahang.we stayed in a motel which was small but kinda comfortable..it doesnt really look inviting from the outside but facilities provided were quite decent, which include an air-cond and also water heater.we started off the first day with night walk..observing insects was highlight of the night..among those that we spotted were centipede, scorpion, stick insects, spider and....SNAKES!!! gosh the snake that could be fatal if we step on it just glided pass us, without me noticing it before one of our group members alerted us..fortunately he saw it before we made our next move..i cant imagine the consequences otherwise..besides, we saw deer too that night although it was not from a near distance deer watching..for the second day..oh before i move on.. we had our meal on a floating restaurant that was across the river..so for every meal, a jeep will bring us to the riverside and then we will cross the river by boat..back to the 2nd day,we had canopy walk in the morning. we were introduced to various types of flora..we move in a group of ten and the guide in our group was kinda good. his explanation really opened up my eyes. we went to the hanging bridge after jungle walk at about noon..half of the bridge was closed for maintenance work so we were unable to walk through the whole hanging bridge..anyway it was fun..especially when your friend walking in front of me tried to shake the bridge to scare me but i was just enjoying the sway-in-the-air without a lil fear..haha..after lunch, we headed for cave exploring ..that was really an enriching experience..all these while i thought caves are nothing more than a walkway surrounded by weird rocks or stalactite like what is shown in the movies...but i was totally wrong!i cant even walk straight in the cave, i had to creep n crawl n duck n etc..it was extremely dark the the smell was awful as there were many bats residing in the cave..every step has its own risk that we might slip or fall..as such we have to be very cautious.team work is of utmost importance here..apart from bats, we saw snakes too and lil crabs in the small stream..sadly i was not able to snap any photos during the cave exploration as we has to leave our bag outside...okay thats for cave exploration. we had bbq at night ..though it was not really a bbq night as all food were prepared..all we have to do is just savor them!anyhow the food was kinda tasty especially the bbq chicken! *drooling*..we were all exhausted by dusk but really enjoyed it.well..for the 3rd day there was actually not much activity..all we did was sampling-testing the soil mineral content and pH..and of course photography session.all in all it was really a worthwhile and eye opening trip..hope that i can visit taman negara once again!

here are some random pictures from the trip:

the hanging bridge

quadrat sampling



the guide


it is blue, not green


the "water war"


scorpion that came out UNWILLINGLY


centipede


burung anting-anting







liana


it smells like guava

stick insect


adorable..isnt it?



**************************************

finally ...before going back home i went skating! i yearn to go skating for such a long time before i finally found a companion!! (Thx for accompanying me >.<)..however i was kinda upset that i cant really skate..maybe my leg was just to stubborn to relax!! argg ..hopefully this is not the case next time..and plus i fell so many times until my knee is bluish when i got home!! haiz..

before i sign off..happy holidays everyone!

why?

why was my facebook account disabled out of the blue? wonder wonder n wonder...
anyone ? any idea?
cant help feeling dismay..LOL

W-a-i-t-i-n-g

Frosty morning

Morning dew trickles,

from the crisp fresh leaves of water lily

Cold wind makes my face tingles, my body shudders

I fear not, of the inclemency

But recollect the memories that never faded

Amidst the mysterious mist of the wet morning

Amidst the sweet fragrance of the morning breeze

Amidst the twittering of skylark

I heard you whisper

The promise that our love is eternal

I saw you smile,

Sheepishly, like the first time we met

Inadvertently revealing your glittering white teeth

I saw your big watery blue eyes

Sparkling with hopes

Like the magnificent rays from the sun that shone on the ripples of the ocean

Your steps were so graceful

Your embraces were so warm

Your words were so soft

How can I not remember?

Have you forgotten?

I will stay here and wait

‘cause they make me feel too good,

Too hard to miss

L_O_S_T

I see nary a sight of you

From dawn to dusk

From dusk to dawn

Groping with the vague memory of you

I fumble in the dark

Uncertain of

What drives me crazy

What sets my pulses to race

What pumps my adrenaline to the max

What brings the bliss that knew no bounds

What makes me

Drawn into the vortex of irresistible and murky love

Confounded, baffled, perplexed, bewildered

LOST

p/s-written on behalf of a friend

2 souls

She never wanted to go near the sea

For the beautiful sunset befall her eye

Prods her old rusted reminiscences of him

Two souls

Hand in hand

Step by step

They strolled on the cotton white beach

To watch the waves gently licking the levee

To praise the beauty of the God’s creation

The mesmerizing sunset

The horizon that stretches at far end of the ocean

The blue sea that glimmers under the velvet sky

They were memories that left her eyes

Welled in tears

***

A solitary walk she goes

She looks up into the sky

She sees an angel waving to her

Smiling so bubbly, so lively

It is him, she is positive

And she smiles

Again,

the two souls at the seaside

u-n-t-i-t-l-e-d

time trickles away
mid-sem break is coming to an end
i felt as if i am suffocating
too much to be done
too much in my thoughts
just cant fit everything into a tiny box
is the box too small?
or there are too much?
it is gonna overflow at any moment
yet
i cant find what i wanted in that box
how irony..
there is something missing in there
something which is so abstract
so rare
so difficult to be even realized
BUT I am so infatuated with it
though i see nary a silhouette of it

kept asking myself why..

lost halfway through the dimly-lit alleyway
searching for a torch,
that would light up my heart
anyone willing to lend me one?

best salad ever!

i luv salad!!!

bowling

It was the first Friday of the 3rd semester n we decided to go bowling.
ther v went- 2amateur players n 2 first timers
venue-ole-ole
time-after lunch

i had never have such awful experience with bowling before that:

the very first thing that annoyed me is the almost around-the-clock technical problem, really cant bear with it. for instance 10 pins bowling turn out to be 9 pins, then a 5 score became a strike, then those pins jamming, then the ball came out on the wrong side...so the technician or whosoever was our "dearest spectator" haiz...nearly fret over those problems..they simply spoilt my mood..

secondly i just cant understand why on would i would get my dizziness during the second game..n yea i screwed it up.

conclusion-never go to ole-ole for bowling again until they make some overhaul (i doubted that).

terrible scores huh? definitely an eyesore


crappy ones


guinness world record : pathetic zeroes


only 8 n 9 for us



and...here comes me- the terrible player..lol

For YOU

first of all , my heartiest congratulation to all who got their placements in local (gov) universities of their choice, and of course courses of your choice. you guys must be on the seventh heaven when you hear that news.
however, i am well aware that most of my friends didn't get what they wanted. this is indeed sad. i heard some of them lamented and whined about it but frankly i cant do nothing to help, neither do anyone else. it is really inconceivable when one get a place for actuarial science while the first choice applied for is pharmacy. don't you think so it is ridiculous? and the point is this student excel in both co-curricular activities and academic (4.0)..i feel even pathetic when i saw some students with CGPA 3.6 get courses and uni they wished.. one thing i cant fathom out is that how are placements in university distributed? why the results seem so unjust? i wanna see transparency!! where is it?? the current condition would only incur wrath in prospective students. n how can a good student be produced is his/her courses is actually determined by someone else??--is forced to study sth he/she hated??

dear, i truly understand your feeling now, thou i m not in the same boat with you..nevertheless,it was destined and nothing can be changed anymore.cry it out if you want , i have my shoulders for you here... dont worry, there is always a silver lining in the cloud..i m sure u ll excel no matter what happen...hope to hear from you dear..love you, always.

holiday-ing

oh..no i shouldn't be here...but i am here right now~instead of doing research on unit3 (which i suppose to), i am here, blogging, googling nonsensical and unrelated subjects, facebook-ing, downlaoding videos and crapping on MSN..gosh..these should be the last thing i wished to do, but i cant deny the inertia- Heroes3, Gossip girl2, Chuck, How i Met your Mother, One Tree Hill...etc.i cant stop but addicted to them..i am pretty sure my eyes are strained and really do need a break now..all in all, i have just been slacking too much during the sem break so far..sigh!

i could hardly figure out why, but i did sign up for Relay for Life which is held in Bukit Jalil two days ago..some may say it would be a wiser decision to just stay at home and enjoy my holidays rather than travelling all the way back to SA to be a volunteer worker...anyway it was great and no regret joining..

we set off from SA at about 1pm..the journey to that stadium took us about one hour plus..we were the first student volunteer team to reach there...
to avoid a long-winded post...let me just sum things up..the whole night was indeed fabulous and meaningful..there were 5000-odd people who took part in the Relay For Life (RFL)..activities held include games, competitions and races. not to forget the "blackout session" held in remembrance of those who died of cancer. it was rather a touching session where family member's or friends of those died of cancer shared theirs thoughts and feelings with the public; their words give hope and encouragement to cancer patients to strive for survival. on top of that, the most significant activity was the 16-hours marathon walk which was participated by cancer survivors, the public, college students, celebrities, ambassadors from foreign countries...etc.a substantial amount of money was raised from the event and it would be channeled towards upgrading National Cancer Society of Malaysia.
apart from that i want to specially applause for a group of students from the Monash university. not everyone could have done what they did- they shaved their head bald and managed to raise rm 40,000! again, my standing ovation for them!
as it was a 16-hour walk, the event spanned through the whole night.."fortunately", i managed to sleep for at least an hour!
in a nutshell, it was a worthwhile experience.

p/s- the food sold was nice!

some snapshots here:












signing off now, bye!
enjoy yr hols, people!

thoughts

tear filled my eyes
rolled down my cheeks
wet my collar..
i has been awhile i never wept, but today
i tried to forget
yes..it blanked out...but just for that few minutes
then it came back to me again
why? i can't figured out despite my endeavor searching for a solution..

people say that you can trust no one but yourself..love no one but yourself..is that true?
i hope not

perhaps it is inane
but i opt to hold on
i believe things will change when it is due
i believe there will be lights at the end of the tunnel..
hope it does

god , i know you heard me..
please, give me a hand

mistake

i knew
by all means
it was a mistake
a huge mistake
that is irrevocable
it shouldn't have happened
but it did
is there anyone to be blamed?
yes or no?
u say it

Simply ramble..

when i felt i should
i go on and do it
when i felt i shouldn't
i discontinued
BUT
why the repercussions are so different?
perhaps
i should just do the opposite next time-as what i perceived as right may not be so
just to save all the unwanted troubles

*arrr why am i feeling so dizzy?? god help me!*

birthday~

it was the start of the second week of study leave
i know that i can barely able finish the piles of notes in front of me
nevertheless, we decided to spent sometime on this girl's big day

guess what? it is actually in the afternoon >.<


look at how we grab this golden opportunities to "suffer" the birthday girl

the cake

thx!!

in the midst of frustration with photosynthesis process...
just d right time, for me to divert my attention from the frust-
mr "forest, little, sweat"(u know yourself yea~) brought something from his hometown for us ..yeah~ finally i got the chance to try their traditional food! (is it traditional? i am not really sure, just know that they can't be found in my hometown nor SA) roomie~~you shouldn't go to wangsamaju today~come back!wanna share with you all~lolx
lets take a look at two of those food {too lazy to take picture for all =p}

hmm .. don't really know its name..but it's kind of bread with red bean paste..soft and fluffy


and this one~wow~big enough to cover my face!don't know its name as well..yet to try (waiting for my roomie to come back~)

a billion thanks to mr "forest, little, sweat"..thank you !!

Belive it OR not??

oh... what a day!
you would never want to believe this...
this afternoon..about an hour plus ago..i walked back all the way from college to my hostel!!
it is not true that there are not any mini bus or rapid KL..lol..but we simply chose to walk...
to begin with, this bizarre idea popped up while we were waiting for mini bus (since there is no college bus service at that hour)..and all of a sudden ivy came out with this idea: why not we walk??
WALk? i hesitated , then agreed..not bad
to make sure she was not joking, i repeated this question for quite a number of times: ARE YOU SERIOUS? --yeah , of course
soon, we left the bus stop opposite the college and began our "legendary" journey
all together they are 6 of us -vais, ivy, karen, me, chua n nisha-ALL IN!!
on the way we saw two mini buses and a few cabs..still, we refused to hail any of them..so determined that we wanna make it through for our "first time"
it took us half an hour (included chit-chatting on the way and posing for photo halfway- passerby would most probably think what are those nuts doing by the roadside) by the time we reach cemara..
YEah !! WE made it!! it is not impossible anyway~ and it is not really far anyway..it is LEGENDARY!!
wondering any senior did that before??
anyhow we gonna "show off" to our classmates tomorrow!
--exemplary act to reduce carbon footprint!!haha-at least we contributed a little something to the earth-by walking instead of commuting by car!
the following picture was taken by the roadside-just to show that i am not bluffing! lol

the temperamental one

how i wish
i had know you earlier
it doesn't matter if it was just a little earlier
the distance between us is so near ,yet so far
i feel that something is missing
i need something to fill the void
just give me a little more time..may be it helps...who knows?

why ? but just a little earlier
is it decreed? i am not sure

perhaps it is

UNit 3

i should feel grateful and relieve now!! (though i had more or less finished with the report)
Pn Rita is kind in the sense that she compromised with us by allowing us to pass up unit 3 on the first day of nex semester...thx god
HOWEVER...another thing is bothering me now.
the problem statement!! i mean it is clear to me ..fatality rate is high-isn't it a pressing problem?? but it is not!! at least to pn rita n edexcel ..
what does it mean by a specific problem?? i can't get the point!! arhhhh..
meaning i have to do my report all over again!! darn...take will take me another month..
OR should i just modify?? only after today's briefing i felt as if i have done nothing at all!!
completely baffled..wishing that it wouldn't be too bad

such a ramble..lol

before i forget..today is earth's day..lets take a fleeting moment to reflect on what we have done to the mother nature...and get our act together to stop further destruction to the earth, BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE

A letter from Seals to human

it is adorable...isn't it?



seals slaughtered by ruthless people.it is heart-rending..

leaders, please, do something to help them

save us, human!! we entreat you..




I took this from one of the forwarded emails.
It is indeed pressing to condemn and stop this heinous act!! immediate legal action is needed!!
aren't these horrendous? why kill innocent Seals? they are innocent!!
it is known as a new kind of "sport" in Norway and Canada ...how ironic?? killing seals as a type of sport??
Killing baby seals!!!! They call it 'hunting' and it's a sport!!

Lets bring these murderers to the attention
of world leaders..

Feel the heat -See green

Recently the weather is awful, the heat in the air is unbearable. My roommates and i are before wear. And to be exact, i did not sleep well through the last night, even my extra fan didn't help..
i woke up this morning and look through the old newspaper laid on the couch and this article caught my attention:

New Straits Time- Sunday People 12th April 2009

Deeply green in the workplace
RACHAEL PHILIP

Dump your rubbish at the office. You’d love that, wouldn’t you? Telco DiGi is mobilising its staff to take charge of environmental issues, writes RACHAEL PHILIP

FOR three weeks, the 2,000 employees of DiGi have been encouraged to bring their unwanted paper, plastic, glass and tins, and chuck them into big bins placed conveniently in its underground car park.

All over the office floors, there were posters on conserving energy and protecting the environment. There were also games, documentaries and talks.

The awareness campaign, organised by the company’s Corporate Responsibility Department and targeted at fellow DiGizens, was called Feel The Heat, Time To Change. It’s part of the company’s bigger Deep Green project launched last August.

Like all its previous environmental projects, it touched just about everyone in the office. They learned that small things — like switching off lights, recycling paper or not printing at all — made a difference.

“We didn’t want it to be just another environmental programme,” says Sumitra Nair, 38, senior counsel of CR. “We want to drive the message closer to home and eventually across our business.”

The aim: To reduce carbon footprint in the office by 50 per cent within three years. They are confident of achieving at least 30 per cent.

“We will have to work hard to make the other 20 per cent... by going the extra mile,” says the mother of two children, aged two and five.

to read the full article follow this link :

That is indeed a commendable act. As the proverbial goes action speaks louder than word..the point of the hour is not to brag about how grand your green idea is or to boost about the actions you would take SOON (ages later?), but to start at this moment, start from ourselves. Little deeds such as switching off the lights when it is not in use, recycle rough paper for your maths calculations, bring your own bag or basket to hypermarkets when you shop for groceries and plant some trees or even shrubs in front of your house is extremely simple and viable, yet they do good to the mother nature.
When everyone is willing to contribute just a little, it make a huge difference to the earth..
The rise of the sea levels due to the melting icebergs , floods, hurricanes, depletion of the ozone layer, etc...These are not new to all of us, if you ever pay a whisper of attention to the daily news. Why do all these happen? no doubt, the culprit is us- human being! human is brainy enough to know the right steps to be taken, we know why our earth is ill - so why not put it into action
lets start to save the earth now, to prevent further destruction to our home, to save our future generation a shelter; BEFORE it is TOO LATE

solitary - apple- memory

done with laundry
my hands hurt..burning pain

in solitude
cool, bare wall
deadly silence (except hissing of the old electric fan)
chomping through a semi-sweet apple

loneliness often prods memories & reflections

reminiscing the past
recalling how the squabble started
how you harangued on me
how you adored me
how you pat on my shoulder n said "it is ok"
how i disheartened you, again and again
how i irked you, with my most silly behaviour
how i shared my joyous moment with you
the moment you looked at me with tears in you bloodshot eyes
AND the moment we parted..
i relive those moments, right here, right now
you are in my mind...for eternity

people, we live everyday as it is, we do everything as we wish
but please, do not ever forget to love those around you, to appreciate them, don't take their existence in this world for granted..
it is decreed , god created them so god want us to love and value them.
don't take action only after they are gone, then you will live to rue it

i will pray for you...god bless you

it is 5 now..time to go back to reality

defying inertia

defying temptation is like defying inertia
going against the flow of tide
rising high against the pull of gravity
trying to operate the watch anticlockwise
attempting to prove that one plus one is not equal to two
wanting to suppress your very much burning desire

only two outcomes- you win or you lose

addiction

addicted to chocolate!!
how to stop it??
it is pressing!! i need to stop it ASAP!! before i gain another pound~~
my endeavour goes in vain...
any practical advice??
i would truly appreciate!!

spat

it is time to mull over it
am i too harsh on my words??
perhaps ..
i always take things for granted

yeah~KAREN , you are right
every one has their own weakness
not to say weakness, but that is human-
no one is perfect
we should compromise
just to ensure a win-win situation

i felt miserable
when you sulked at me
though, i first see it as a trivial matter
now i see the point
i am lacking sense at that point
please accept my apology
i mean it
SORRY

-saying sorry is never too late, if you really mean it-

adaptation

another bio test was over
frustrated
sulk at it
no..no..
that should not be the case
i should blame myself ...yes undoubtedly..that's my fault
Now..lets not breach my promise again..
wouldnt let it happen anymore~not anymore!

adaptation-def:changes in physical/internal process/behaviour that enable an organism to survive in a changing environment
not only in bio
i guess it ought to be applied to me too
not a secondary kid anymore

forget about it--at least for now
so that i can gear up for my ctes tomorrow
though i would say -
it is really drab n kinda a useless subject
yet
i still have to sit for it

that is adaptation
changes in "you"